Chastity is a virtue. That is, chastity is a good habit that human beings develop through practice over time. Chastity is also one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. The virtue of chastity is frequently rather simplistically understood as 'not having sexual intercourse.' The association is often made to virginity and its preservation as was the case with the so-called 'chastity belt'. But this is not the essence of chastity., The very notion of a chastity belt is contrary to the idea of chastity as a virtue requiring the free choice of the person. Rather, chastity has to do with all experiencing. It is about the appropriateness of any experience. Ultimately, chastity is reverence: and sin, all sin, is irreverence. To be chaste is to experience people, things, places, entertainment, the phases of our lives, and sex in a way that not violate them or ourselves. To be chaste is to experience things reverently, in such a way that the experience leaves both them and ourselves more, not less, integrated (Rolheiser, 1999 pp. 201-202).

Chastity can be understood as the virtue of self-possession. Being chaste entails integrating one's sexuality into one's whole life as a human person. Acting in a chaste way means not being controlled by biological urges. Rather these urges or 'passions' are integrated into one's self-understanding as a sexual being made in the image of God and engaging with other sexual beings who are themselves made in the image of God. Being chaste means taking control of one's desires and energies and directing them to those goods that are most rewarding, most meaningful and that most support one's own flourishing and the flourishing of others. It means making conscious choices about how one directs one's sexual identity towards, in, and through intimate relationships expressing a comprehensive understanding of the meaning of love and respect, seeing as God sees. Acting chastely involves treating individuals as human persons in their own right and not as mere objects of desire. Chastity means treating people with respect and care. Being chaste also Includes showing respect and care for one's own body. A person's own body is not an object but rather an integrated entity integrating body, mind and spirit. 'Much emotional pain and chaos is the result of trivializing sex and ignoring the value of chastity and purity. Sexual passion is only something of depth when it is related to chastity and purity. Passion and chastity, sex and purity of heart and mind, must be brought together. … Thus, we are chaste when we relate to others in a way that does not transgress their moral, psychological, emotional, aesthetic, and sexual boundaries' (Rolheiser, 1999 pp. 201-202).

Growth in the virtue of chastity and in sexual integration is a developmental and life-long process. People can practice chastity in different ways at different times of their lives. As a young person this usually means abstaining from genital sexual intercourse before marriage, because only in marriage is the full goodness of the sexual relationship between a man and a woman realized. However, it also means learning to embrace one's sexual identity as a man or a woman and to learn how to relate meaningfully, deeply, intimately and justly with members of both sexes through the development of friendships. In marriage, chastity in relation to sexuality means, above all, faithfulness to one's spouse, respect for one's partner's sexual desires or lack thereof at different times and mindfulness of how genital sexual intimacy serves the unitive and generative ends of marriage through conjugal love and procreation respectively. But here too friendship is an important aspect of living chastely. For some people chastity can mean a choice not to get married and therefore not to engage in genital intimacy either for a time or throughout a whole lifetime. Such a decision may be made to achieve some other good, such as the pursuit of a particular career or committing to a celibate life in the service of Christ and his Church. Chastity involves self-mastery and contributes to our living wholeheartedly as multidimensional beings with body, mind and spirit. In this way chastity helps the individual to integrate various dimensions of the self in the pursuit of the most noble goods for oneself and others especially the good of love, the greatest of the virtues. One cannot be a truly loving person if one is not also a chaste person.