Genital Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman has the potential to realise two good things, the unity of the couple and new life. And these two things cannot be separated from each other without diminishing the goodness of sexual intercourse. That is why the best place for sexual intercourse to occur is in the context of marriage. First, genital sexual intercourse is good because it is unitive. The two people grow closer together and become more unified through the extremely intimate act of penetration and ejaculation in the vagina. Sexual intercourse in this sense is not about selfish pleasure but about the complete gift of oneself to the other. Two become one, become unified as one flesh, one mind, and in a certain sense, one spirit. The act of genital sexual intercourse is the culmination and a sign of the trust and love that the two have for each other and their commitment to the idea that God wants a woman and a man to be partners in life, to grow together. Through sexual intercourse the bond of self-giving mutual commitment to each other is renewed and strengthened. But this unitive dimension must also be generative if it to be truly unitive, self-giving, committed, trusting, open to new life and conformed to God's will for humanity and for the couple themselves. Second, genital sexual intercourse is good because it is generative. Put simply, genital sexual intercourse brings about new life. But the meaning given to sexual intercourse in the Catholic perspective is deeper than simple procreation. Clearly, if any two fertile people have sexual intercourse a child could result. The Catholic perspective, however, holds that sex simply for the sake of producing children does not adequately represent God's intended purpose for sexual intercourse because it does not take the unitive dimension into account. The unitive dimension of sexual intercourse emphasises the importance that sex has for humans not merely as a means of reproduction but as a means for fostering loving, trusting and committed relationships that are best suited to raise children. Put simply, a loving committed couple (unitive dimension) is better able to provide a stable and loving environment to raise children (the generative dimension). Moreover, the generative or creative dimension is not limited simply to the biological production of new human beings. Two people who love each other unconditionally and who foster that love through the unitive act of self-giving sexual intercourse are more likely to be open, inclusive and loving towards others. Such a couple are more likely to be committed to working for the good of the community since they are able to rely on the strength that comes from being supported by a loving, trusting, and committed partner.
Sexuality and spirituality are connected. Healthy sexuality is the experience of feeling whole and worthy as a sexual person. Healthy sexuality involves: being connected in all parts of one's sexuality to one's spiritual core; congruence of sexual behaviour with one's value system; meaningfulness in relationships; the position of love in one's life; the miracle of existence; and the development and affirmation of sexual grace (Maleny, 1995). Rolheiser (1999, p.198-202) offers four principles that anchor a healthy Christian spirituality of sexuality: 1. Sexuality is God's energy inside of us and leads persons to sanctity when its principles are respected. 2. Sexuality for the Christian needs the protection of reverence (chastity) and wisdom (prudence) 3. Sexual intimacy is sacred. It can never be simply a casual, unimportant, neutral thing. Its place is within a committed, loving, covenantal relationship as a privileged vehicle of grace. It brings God's physical touch to us and is a source of integration for the soul. 4. Sexual intimacy for the Christian must be linked to marriage, monogamy, and a covenantal commitment that is, by definition, all-embracing and permanent. Sex speaks of total giving, total trust and total commitment.