Guilt and Shame are complex and interrelated feelings. Our discussion here focuses on guilt and shame as affective, emotional responses in relation to specific objects or situations. Considered in themselves as psychological phenomena neither guilt nor shame is morally bad. But both are morally significant. In fact, when talking about morality, it is frequently feelings of guilt or shame that we associate with the belief that we have done something morally wrong. Such a belief manifests itself in a range of feelings. We feel that we are not worthy of love, respect and justice and that that other people do not think us worthy of love, respect and justice either. Shame and guilt, then, are emotions that reflect and shape the sort of person we are. Shame and guilt shape our character. Shame is the opposite of pride or of a healthy sense of self-worth. Shame is a feeling that can arise in a number of situations two of which are particularly important here. In the first place shame is the affective response or feeling when something we have done is deemed to be morally wrong in our own eyes or in the eyes of friends and others whose opinion impacts significantly upon our own sense of self worth. The same can be said about the impact of the disapproval of the wider society. Shame is the feeling that arises when supposed truths about ourselves, about which we are not proud, are brought to mind in our own reflection about ourselves and the consequences of our misdeeds being public either in fact or in our imagination. Second, shame can also be future-orientated as a response to possible actions that would contravene our deepest moral convictions. In that sense shame is the sentinel of our moral horizon. Third, shame is the emotional response or feeling that arises when we perceive ourselves to have been unjustly humiliated by someone else or treated as less worthy of decent treatment or respect by others. It is a feeling that can arise when we think that people have unjustifiably treated us as their inferiors. These forms of shame, arising from our own behaviour or from the behaviour of others, result in an affective sense of oneself or a feeling about oneself that is the opposite of a healthy sense of self-worth. To defend one's sense of self-worth and protect oneself from shame entails either trying to hide oneself and extract oneself from the shame-inducing situation or attempting to turn on the perceived cause of shame, seeking retribution against others. Self harm may also be a means of self-protection against a shame-inducing situation. Bullying, domestic violence, racism and sexism, are examples of the kinds of behaviour that can lead people to experience feelings of shame and provoke the desire to hide from or hurt those who seem to be causing the feelings of shame. Sometimes, when it is not possible to hide from or hurt the perceived cause, a person may redirect those negative energies to someone perceived to be inferior or to someone who is an easier target. In other words, feelings of shame can lead to a cycle of shame and violence against oneself or others. In such a context shame becomes corrosive. Affective maturity entails recognizing shame for what it is, namely, a morally relevant emotional cue to alert us to the possibility that something that we are doing, or something that someone else is doing might be morally wrong. The next step is to address the causes of these feelings in a constructive way that does not simply repeat the cycle of shame and violence. See the section on Anger above.

Catholic teaching recognises the worth of each individual and therefore rejects the humiliation of one person by another. From a Catholic perspective, relationships characterised by feelings of shame fall short of the ideal. Catholic teaching envisions a society in which truth and trust are the basis of relationships and in which relationships characterised by shame have no legitimate place. (see paragraph in Intimacy and Communication section in Part III). The statement above has to be correctly understood. As we have explained above, self awareness of feelings of shame can be healthy and constructive but also unhealthy and destructive. A key to realising a society in which relationships are characterized by truth and trust involves a twofold strategy. First, nobody should be shamed or humiliated by another. This is at the heart of the concept of mercy. If we allow humiliation and shaming, then those who feel shame are more likely to try to hide their shame, and to potentially harm themselves or others. This is the case whether the shame arises from real or imagined truths about the person feeling personally shamed or whether the shame arises from real or imagined truths about others. Second, truth must be encouraged and welcomed. This can only happen in a safe environment. A safe environment is one which will not shame those who tell the truth about themselves or about others. In a safe environment an open, honest dialogue can begin to occur focused on who we think we are, what we think we should do, and who we would like to be. Such a dialogue will help to reveal those cases where feelings of shame are legitimate and should be remedied by changing one's own behaviour. Dialogue will also uncover those cases where shame is based on untrue beliefs about oneself and about one's own behaviour or the behaviour of others. Building relationships characterized by truth and trust involves working towards truer understandings of oneself and others.

Guilt is a sense of estrangement; an awareness of a gap between us and God as love. The word guilt is used to describe an individual's sense of responsibility or perception of fault for doing something that is morally wrong or for failing to do something that one should have done. Sometimes, these feelings of guilt are simply that, feelings of guilt. For example, if you are driving and spot a police car in the rear-view mirror you might experience feelings of guilt. You just have a feeling that you might have done something wrong even if this is not in fact the case. This is to be distinguished from the conviction of that you actually have done something morally wrong based on the judgment of your conscience (see section on Conscience below). The affective 'sense' accompanying true guilt is always about, or in response to, something specific that we have done or failed to do. This authentic conviction of guilt can lead to feelings of shame. But it might also lead to a desire to reconcile with those whom one has harmed and to a resolution to make things right again. These authentic feelings of guilt lead to what the Catholic tradition sometimes refers to as conversion. Conversion involves a turning around, a desire for forgiveness and a desire to actually seek forgiveness for one's wrongdoing., Conversion also involves seeking reconciliation with others and with the community. Affective maturity entails taking careful note of feelings of guilt and learning to distinguish between those that are simply feelings and those that are related to real wrongs. Taking steps to correct rather than ignore real wrongs is an important sign of affective maturity.

In the Catholic Tradition, Baptism is the primary reconciling sacrament. Through Jesus, all things are made new, all things are restored and redeemed. Christians believe that baptism removes the stain of original sin, allowing us into the reign of God. In other words, we are no longer held responsible for things we did not choose to do. However, we are still held responsible for our sins, that is for those wrongs which we freely choose. The good news is that here too, forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation with God and others is possible. Another way in which feelings of anger, shame, and guilt can be evaluated and addressed is through the Sacrament of Penance also called confession, conversion or reconciliation. In a safe and confidential space an individual is able to reflect honestly on their personal behaviour as well as the behaviour of others. Individuals take ownership of those aspects of their behaviour that are legitimately morally wrong. They seek forgiveness for these failings and recommit themselves to working for what is true, what is good and what is right. Because this Penance is a sacrament Catholics believe that God's mercy and love supports those who are trying to be honest about themselves and their behaviour. The sacrament of Penance provides forgiveness for those who are truly contrite and sustains them in their commitment to be better people, to live whole-heartedly and to work for the flourishing of all.

Compassion or Empathy describes the human ability to 'suffer with' someone else. Derived from Latin Passio, the English word Passions is the term classically used in the Catholic tradition for feelings or emotions. Passions denote how we are affected by events, people and actions and how we are moved to respond emotionally in some way. So 'com-passion' means 'with-feeling'. Affective maturity entails being aware of, understanding, and correctly acting upon one's own emotions. Affective maturity also involves having a well-developed ability to know how others feel. A life lived wholeheartedly is a life in which compassion plays an important role. Healthy relationships require us to be sensitive to how our words and actions affect other people. If the goal of life itself is human flourishing then it has to be a goal for all people. So the ways in which we think, speak and act have implications for how other people feel and view themselves, their own dignity as persons, and the worth of the world around them. Pope Saint John Paul II, in an interpretation of the second account of creation found in Genesis, talks about the original solitude of the first human being. John Paul II argues that this original solitude or 'alone-ness', is something which is true for every human being and their existence as human persons. The human being is different from every other being in God's Creation. The human being alone is a rational being. John Paul II also points out, however, that this self-awareness of difference from the rest of Creation is the necessary condition for the recognition of other human beings as beings like oneself. Therefore, we could say that compassion, the ability to feel with other people, is something that arises out of our own sense of being alone. We cannot really feel what other people feel. We can only feel what we believe they could be feeling. This step requires us to acknowledge that others are somehow like us and at the same time are radically different from us because each human being is a unique and original subject. We are each 'alone' whilst simultaneously always already 'together'. Compassion is the key human ability that binds these solitary beings into a community that works together to achieve their mutual flourishing and happiness. A life lived wholeheartedly is only possible as a life lived together.29. Compassion or Empathy describes the human ability to 'suffer with' someone else. Derived from Latin Passio, the English word Passions is the term classically used in the Catholic tradition for feelings or emotions. Passions denote how we are affected by events, people and actions and how we are moved to respond emotionally in some way. So 'com-passion' means 'with-feeling'. Affective maturity entails being aware of, understanding, and correctly acting upon one's own emotions. Affective maturity also involves having a well-developed ability to know how others feel. A life lived wholeheartedly is a life in which compassion plays an important role. Healthy relationships require us to be sensitive to how our words and actions affect other people. If the goal of life itself is human flourishing then it has to be a goal for all people. So the ways in which we think, speak and act have implications for how other people feel and view themselves, their own dignity as persons, and the worth of the world around them. Pope Saint John Paul II, in an interpretation of the second account of creation found in Genesis, talks about the original solitude of the first human being. John Paul II argues that this original solitude or 'alone-ness', is something which is true for every human being and their existence as human persons. The human being is different from every other being in God's Creation. The human being alone is a rational being. John Paul II also points out, however, that this self-awareness of difference from the rest of Creation is the necessary condition for the recognition of other human beings as beings like oneself. Therefore, we could say that compassion, the ability to feel with other people, is something that arises out of our own sense of being alone. We cannot really feel what other people feel. We can only feel what we believe they could be feeling. This step requires us to acknowledge that others are somehow like us and at the same time are radically different from us because each human being is a unique and original subject. We are each 'alone' whilst simultaneously always already 'together'. Compassion is the key human ability that binds these solitary beings into a community that works together to achieve their mutual flourishing and happiness. A life lived wholeheartedly is only possible as a life lived together.

Human beings are spiritual beings because God is pure spirit. Human beings, made in the image of God, have an immortal soul, a spiritual dimension that will live on after the death of their physical bodies. Christians also believe, however, that the soul will be reunited with a glorified body. When we think about the meaning and purpose of life and about what is good and right we are asking questions that have spiritual implications. These are questions that address the core of our being, a being created for eternity. By creating us as free beings God has given us the power to choose the kind of beings we are made to be, the causes we wish to stand for and the values we want to hold dear. The choices we make will have implications forever since our spiritual selves will live forever. At a very basic level we are asked whether we want to stand up for Love and live forever in Heaven, in eternal happiness with God or whether we want to reject Love, to reject goodness, to reject community, to reject all that is good and true and beautiful. The consequences of this latter choice is eternal life without God in what the Catholic tradition calls Hell. The Catholic perspective affirms the spiritual dimension of the human person pointing to the importance of how our decisions and actions shape the kind of person we become. Common experience indicates the truth of the connection between decisions, actions and personhood whether one actually believes in the existence of Heaven and Hell or otherwise. Living wholeheartedly means taking the question of what kind of person you want to become seriously and seeking the resources to become such a person through the practice of a healthy spirituality, nourishing that timeless dimension at the core of your being.

We can find clues to our spiritual nature in the experience of transcendence. We are open to experiences in which we seem to transcend the limitations of our physical bodies and our individual egos. We have all had the experience of losing the awareness of ourselves as we become immersed in the sheer beauty of a sunset, the tragedy of young life cut short, the creation of the perfect meal or the exhilaration of being on the winning team. These and other experiences are places where we touch transcendence and where the Transcendent One, God, touches us. The ticking of time that characterizes so much of our daily lives gives way to experiences that are timeless, that seem to stand outside of time and space, that seem eternal. Often these experiences just happen to us. We do not seek them out and sometimes we can harden ourselves against them. We can teach ourselves, or allow ourselves to be taught not to experience wonder and awe, or peace and stillness, or beauty and the sublime. We are taught to be practical and serious, busy and productive, functional and realistic. But preoccupation with pragmatic, earthly concerns risk denying the spiritual dimension of our being as physical, spiritual and psychological unities. Given that this spiritual dimension is part of our being in the image of God, part of our dignity as human beings, the realization of the fullness of this dignity requires the exercise of our spiritual capacities. In other words, human flourishing presupposes a healthy spiritual life.

Based on the witness of Jesus and in the words of Ronald Rolheiser (1999, pp. 53-69), there are four elements that are essential for a healthy Christian spiritual life. All four elements must be present in our lives for Christian spirituality to be healthy. These elements are: personal prayer and living a good moral life; creating and doing justice for the poor; doing justice that is motivated by authentic compassion and not anger, guilt or self-service; concrete involvement in a real community of faith.

Conversion or metanoia means literally a turning around, a profound change of heart and mind at the deepest level of our being. In one sense, this conversion is a 'one-off'. A person decides to stop being one kind of being, living life in one particular way, believing a certain thing. A person decides to start being another kind of being, to start living life in a different way, or to start believing something else. But conversion can also be understood as an ongoing process, a constant recommitment of mind and heart to being the kind of person you want to be, to living the kind of life that you believe you ought to live, and to believing in the kinds of things that you feel and know it is right to believe in. A healthy spirituality is not one that is free of doubts, of failures, or of disappointments. In the same way living wholeheartedly does not mean a life free of doubt, failure or disappointment either. Rather a healthy spirituality takes such experiences seriously, examines them, feels them and allows them to challenge and to question what one believes about oneself, about living, and about God. Conversion in this context is about a living spirituality that constantly re-evaluates and reconfirms its commitment to the pursuit of truth and love.

Human sexuality flows from a person's unique and unrepeatable identity and vocation as a being created in the image of God. Human persons, as images of God, are both physical and spiritual beings. They are both embodied spirits, and inspirited bodies. God is imaged in the two equally dignified ways of being human: male and female. Together, women and men are called to reflect God's presence and action in the world in a creative covenant of love.

Sexuality is grounded in, and gives expression to, the human need to love and be loved and the longing to generate new life out of this mutual loving. This mutual loving and the new life that flows from it are considered signs of God's presence and action in the world.

Healthy Christian sexuality concerns the whole person—the integration of body, heart, mind and spirit. Each of these aspects of the whole person is good and each deserves respect, care and nurturing. The virtue of prudence entails making careful, informed and deliberate choices. Chastity involves controlling one's sexual desires out of respect for oneself and others as both bodily and spiritual beings. Prudence and chastity are important keys to healthy sexuality, healthy personhood and loving, and just and safe relationships. Consequently, genital sexual intimacy finds its true expression in the commitment of marriage, open to the generation of new human life.

The Catholic perspective promotes human dignity, the essential worth or dignity of the human person as made in the image and likeness of God. Each human being is unique and unrepeatable and loved and called by God. This means that every human being, in every circumstance, is good. This is not to say that they are morally good. Our moral goodness or moral badness is based on the moral decisions we make. Rather, to affirm the worth or dignity of the human person is to affirm that it is a good thing that he or she exists, that his or her existence is desired by God and that his or her existence is worthwhile. The dignity of the human person is the foundation of a moral vision for society (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2013). Catholic thinking about sexuality and relationships is based on this basic affirmation of the equal worth of all human beings.

The sanctity of life is one way of giving expression to this basic affirmation of the worth or dignity of all human beings. When the Catholic Church affirms the sanctity of life it affirms that it is good that a particular human being exists rather than the reverse. the existence of each human person is willed by God and human beings have no right to destroy that existence. To say that life is sacred is to say, no matter who you are, no matter what you have done, no matter what you will do, the simple fact that you exist as a specific human being is enough for you to be considered worthy of life, worthy of respect and worthy of those things that will help you to flourish rather than perish.

God has called us to flourish. God wants us to flourish. In a sense, flourishing is our human vocation. Human beings don't simply exist. Human beings can exist badly in circumstances that don't seem to be in tune with the idea that their existence is a good thing and that they are willed and loved by God. Such circumstances can lead to the death or perishing of human beings in both the literal and the figurative sense. Perishing in the figurative sense mean that spiritual life, mental well-being and physical health begin to wither and die. On the other hand human beings can exist well, living their lives in circumstances and ways through which they flourish. When we think about what it means to talk about human flourishing, we focus on the achievement of the fullness of our potential as human beings in all dimensions: physical, mental, spiritual and relational. The Catholic perspective promotes human flourishing in all its dimensions together with the making of moral choices in ways that contribute to, rather than threaten or undermine, this flourishing of the whole human person.

The person is a unity of body, mind and spirit. The body is one with the soul in the human person (embodied spirit, inspirited body). 'The body with its feelings, thoughts, urges and longings is a place of divine revelation rather than something to be feared or an object of shame or something less than the mind or spirit' (McClone, 2011, p.4). From a Catholic perspective, human beings hold a unique place in Creation. On the one hand they are material, like animals, because they are physical, bodily beings, bound by time and space on the planet we call Earth. Humans need food, air and water. Human beings need to engage in sexual intercourse in order to keep their species going. Just as an individual would die without food and water, the human species will become extinct without human sexual activity. On the other hand, human beings are eternal because each is created with a rational, spiritual soul that continues to live beyond physical death in this life. What is important for the Catholic perspective on sex and relationship education is to realise that this bodily dimension, and this mental and spiritual dimension cannot be separated from each other. In other words, the human being is a unity of body, mind and spirit.

The body is good. We affirmed above that the human being is good, not in a moral sense, but in the sense that it is good that any particular human exists. The same is true for the body as part of that human being created in the image of God. In other words, because we are created in the image of God as bodily beings, the human body constitutes part of what gives humans their fundamental and equal dignity or worth. The goodness, worth and dignity of the body, of our human flesh, is further affirmed by Catholic belief in the Incarnation. The idea that God chose to become a human being, to enter into the limitations of a specific human body in a specific time and place, gives a profound meaning to our fleshiness. God has chosen to become like us in every way but sin, and in so doing saved us from the limitations of this fleshiness of ours. Through the incarnation, death and resurrection of Jesus, we are freed from death as the ultimate limitation of our bodily existence. Jesus is raised not as a spirit. Jesus is raised with a glorified body. In other words, our very bodiliness is part of our future as much as it is part of our present.

We love with our bodies. 'We are called to love as God loves, in and through our bodies' (West, 2009 p. 26). As we endeavour to love, God, who is goodness, love, and life, is made incarnate and visible in the world (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1991). Most of our encounters with other people are usually in a face to face bodily way. Compare, for example, the experience of walking into a room in which someone is sitting and the experience of walking into an empty room. Now think about walking into a room where there is a computer online with someone at the other end in a chat room. The first impression in the first instance will be far more intense because the physical presence of a body makes us immediately aware that there is a person in the room and draws our attention to him or her. In a world in which so much of our communication is done through technology, often as voiceless words on a screen. It is easy to forget how significant the body is in our communication, until we are indeed confronted by the presence of another, and he or she is confronted with our presence. To be present in the world is to be present in a bodily way. It is in and through our bodies that we relate to the world, sense the world and respond to the world. It is in and through our bodies that we, as images of God, of love, of relationality, of rationality and of justice, make God present in the world. This is all the more potent when it involves touch. Think about the difference between being hit and striking another, and being kissed and caressing another. Physical contact communicates immense meaning. As the saying goes: 'Actions speak louder than words'. So how we act, how we pay attention to our bodies and the bodies of others and how we respond to our bodies and the bodies of others, is vital in influencing how we make present our deepest convictions about the meaning and value of life, love and justice. In no way, then, can we consider the erotic dimension of love simply as a permissible evil or a burden to be tolerated for the good of the family. Rather, it must be seen as gift from God that enriches the relationship of the spouses. As a passion sublimated by a love respectful of the dignity of the other, it becomes a 'pure, unadulterated affirmation' revealing the marvels of which the human heart is capable. In this way, even momentarily, we can feel that 'life has turned out good and happy' (Pope Francis, 2016 Amoris Laetitia).

This means that the body should not be abused or denigrated. Any practice that denies the basic worth or goodness of the body is something that the Catholic perspective has explicitly rejected. An affective maturity means an awareness and mastery of certain bodily, mental, or spiritual urges for some other greater good. Maturity is not a denial of any of these. Seeking purely physical pleasure is, therefore, not an adequate way to think about human flourishing. Similarly, neither is seeking purely spiritual or mental pleasure. The body, and the good things associated with it and dependent upon it remain very important. Saint John Paul II in his encyclical Veritatis Splendor reminds us that 'the person, by the light of reason and the support of virtue, discovers in the body the anticipatory signs, the expression and the promise of the gift of the self, in conformity with the wise plan of the Creator' (John Paul II, 1993, para. 48).

Respect for the human body is reflected in how we care for ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1991). Thomas Aquinas speaks of how we must have love for our body as a gift from God (Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae 2.2.25.5). We must befriend our bodies, listen to their wisdom, and realise that they are: . . . our safe and faithful home for our entire lives.  We bring them everywhere with us, and they take us to all kinds of inside and outside experiences.  We may have names for parts of the body, some facts and information about how they function, where to go for repairs and alterations, but do we truly love and nurture the amazing mystery that our bodies are?  Are we aware of the vibrant stories being told inside our bodies and of the dialogue between the inner and outer experience in relation to our whole person? . . . When we begin to believe that the body is in the soul rather than simply that the soul is in the body, and when we come alive to our senses and to our skin, and see them as guides and transmitters of energy and grace, our whole lives can be transformed (O'Leary, 2001 pp. 29-30).

Human beings are sexual beings. Since our bodies are part of who we are and a vital dimension of the way we exist in, and interact with, the world, our biological makeup as members of a species that procreates through sexual reproduction is of significance when thinking about what it means to be human and how we should best be human. Each human being exists as a specific kind of sexual being. Usually this is as either a male or a female. In the Genesis narratives, we read about how God created human beings, male and female, in God's image. In other words, being male and being female are two ways of being a human body (John Paul II, General Audience, 7 November 1979). Sex education should also include respect and appreciation for differences, as a way of helping the young to overcome their self-absorption and to be open and accepting of others (Pope Francis, 2016 Amoris Laetitia).

Human beings are created for unity. Put bluntly, male genital organs and female genital organs are both necessary for reproduction and no human can procreate alone in any natural way. But this complementarity extends beyond simple physical necessity and compatibility. Rather, as Pope St John Paul II (General Audience, 7 November 1979) has argued in his interpretation of the second Genesis narrative, men and women are better together. In Genesis, God decides that it is not good for the first human being (who arguably has no sexual identity) to be alone. Despite the presence of all the animals the first human being is not happy. So God puts the human being to sleep and creates another human being from the same flesh (the rib) of the first human being. When they awaken, the first human being recognizes the second as 'flesh of my flesh' and expresses, for the first time, joy. In other words, human beings find joy and completion in other human beings. Man and woman find joy and completion in each other. The complementarity of woman and man is characterised by: a) equal dignity; b) significant difference; c) synergetic relation—meaning something more happens when you have woman and man together, e.g. generation of a child or generation of the joy of mutual love; d) intergenerational fruition—in other words the human species and the expression of culture goes on generation after generation after generation across historical time. (Allen, 2014).

Men and Women are fundamentally equal. Man and woman are both human beings. Theologically speaking the creation of human beings precedes the creation of the sexes. Women and men are of equal worth or dignity in the eyes of God. Both male and female are made in God's image and both are called to share in the future God promises. Yet, this fundamental equality does not mean that being a man and being a woman is the same thing. Rather it is equally good to be man as it is to be a woman and neither sex should think of itself as superior in some fundamental or essential way to the other. Man and woman share the same humanity. They are both made in God's image sharing a basic mutuality. Both are called to live in a covenant of love (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1991). Consequently, sexism, that is, the unjust discrimination to the detriment of a person on the basis of his or her sex is not to be tolerated. Since all human beings, whether male or female, share the same dignity or moral worth each gender has an equal claim to the natural human rights that proceed from this worth. Similarly, each gender has a duty to work for the common good and to respect the dignity and rights of others. True, all human beings are not alike from the point of view of varying physical power and the diversity of intellectual and moral resources. Nevertheless, with respect to the fundamental rights of the person, every type of discrimination, whether social or cultural, whether based on sex, race, color, social condition, language or religion, is to be overcome and eradicated as contrary to God's intent (Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes, para. 29).