Guilt and Shame are complex and interrelated feelings. Our discussion here focuses on guilt and shame as affective, emotional responses in relation to specific objects or situations. Considered in themselves as psychological phenomena neither guilt nor shame is morally bad. But both are morally significant. In fact, when talking about morality, it is frequently feelings of guilt or shame that we associate with the belief that we have done something morally wrong. Such a belief manifests itself in a range of feelings. We feel that we are not worthy of love, respect and justice and that that other people do not think us worthy of love, respect and justice either. Shame and guilt, then, are emotions that reflect and shape the sort of person we are. Shame and guilt shape our character. Shame is the opposite of pride or of a healthy sense of self-worth. Shame is a feeling that can arise in a number of situations two of which are particularly important here. In the first place shame is the affective response or feeling when something we have done is deemed to be morally wrong in our own eyes or in the eyes of friends and others whose opinion impacts significantly upon our own sense of self worth. The same can be said about the impact of the disapproval of the wider society. Shame is the feeling that arises when supposed truths about ourselves, about which we are not proud, are brought to mind in our own reflection about ourselves and the consequences of our misdeeds being public either in fact or in our imagination. Second, shame can also be future-orientated as a response to possible actions that would contravene our deepest moral convictions. In that sense shame is the sentinel of our moral horizon. Third, shame is the emotional response or feeling that arises when we perceive ourselves to have been unjustly humiliated by someone else or treated as less worthy of decent treatment or respect by others. It is a feeling that can arise when we think that people have unjustifiably treated us as their inferiors. These forms of shame, arising from our own behaviour or from the behaviour of others, result in an affective sense of oneself or a feeling about oneself that is the opposite of a healthy sense of self-worth. To defend one's sense of self-worth and protect oneself from shame entails either trying to hide oneself and extract oneself from the shame-inducing situation or attempting to turn on the perceived cause of shame, seeking retribution against others. Self harm may also be a means of self-protection against a shame-inducing situation. Bullying, domestic violence, racism and sexism, are examples of the kinds of behaviour that can lead people to experience feelings of shame and provoke the desire to hide from or hurt those who seem to be causing the feelings of shame. Sometimes, when it is not possible to hide from or hurt the perceived cause, a person may redirect those negative energies to someone perceived to be inferior or to someone who is an easier target. In other words, feelings of shame can lead to a cycle of shame and violence against oneself or others. In such a context shame becomes corrosive. Affective maturity entails recognizing shame for what it is, namely, a morally relevant emotional cue to alert us to the possibility that something that we are doing, or something that someone else is doing might be morally wrong. The next step is to address the causes of these feelings in a constructive way that does not simply repeat the cycle of shame and violence. See the section on Anger above.

Catholic teaching recognises the worth of each individual and therefore rejects the humiliation of one person by another. From a Catholic perspective, relationships characterised by feelings of shame fall short of the ideal. Catholic teaching envisions a society in which truth and trust are the basis of relationships and in which relationships characterised by shame have no legitimate place. (see paragraph in Intimacy and Communication section in Part III). The statement above has to be correctly understood. As we have explained above, self awareness of feelings of shame can be healthy and constructive but also unhealthy and destructive. A key to realising a society in which relationships are characterized by truth and trust involves a twofold strategy. First, nobody should be shamed or humiliated by another. This is at the heart of the concept of mercy. If we allow humiliation and shaming, then those who feel shame are more likely to try to hide their shame, and to potentially harm themselves or others. This is the case whether the shame arises from real or imagined truths about the person feeling personally shamed or whether the shame arises from real or imagined truths about others. Second, truth must be encouraged and welcomed. This can only happen in a safe environment. A safe environment is one which will not shame those who tell the truth about themselves or about others. In a safe environment an open, honest dialogue can begin to occur focused on who we think we are, what we think we should do, and who we would like to be. Such a dialogue will help to reveal those cases where feelings of shame are legitimate and should be remedied by changing one's own behaviour. Dialogue will also uncover those cases where shame is based on untrue beliefs about oneself and about one's own behaviour or the behaviour of others. Building relationships characterized by truth and trust involves working towards truer understandings of oneself and others.

Guilt is a sense of estrangement; an awareness of a gap between us and God as love. The word guilt is used to describe an individual's sense of responsibility or perception of fault for doing something that is morally wrong or for failing to do something that one should have done. Sometimes, these feelings of guilt are simply that, feelings of guilt. For example, if you are driving and spot a police car in the rear-view mirror you might experience feelings of guilt. You just have a feeling that you might have done something wrong even if this is not in fact the case. This is to be distinguished from the conviction of that you actually have done something morally wrong based on the judgment of your conscience (see section on Conscience below). The affective 'sense' accompanying true guilt is always about, or in response to, something specific that we have done or failed to do. This authentic conviction of guilt can lead to feelings of shame. But it might also lead to a desire to reconcile with those whom one has harmed and to a resolution to make things right again. These authentic feelings of guilt lead to what the Catholic tradition sometimes refers to as conversion. Conversion involves a turning around, a desire for forgiveness and a desire to actually seek forgiveness for one's wrongdoing., Conversion also involves seeking reconciliation with others and with the community. Affective maturity entails taking careful note of feelings of guilt and learning to distinguish between those that are simply feelings and those that are related to real wrongs. Taking steps to correct rather than ignore real wrongs is an important sign of affective maturity.

In the Catholic Tradition, Baptism is the primary reconciling sacrament. Through Jesus, all things are made new, all things are restored and redeemed. Christians believe that baptism removes the stain of original sin, allowing us into the reign of God. In other words, we are no longer held responsible for things we did not choose to do. However, we are still held responsible for our sins, that is for those wrongs which we freely choose. The good news is that here too, forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation with God and others is possible. Another way in which feelings of anger, shame, and guilt can be evaluated and addressed is through the Sacrament of Penance also called confession, conversion or reconciliation. In a safe and confidential space an individual is able to reflect honestly on their personal behaviour as well as the behaviour of others. Individuals take ownership of those aspects of their behaviour that are legitimately morally wrong. They seek forgiveness for these failings and recommit themselves to working for what is true, what is good and what is right. Because this Penance is a sacrament Catholics believe that God's mercy and love supports those who are trying to be honest about themselves and their behaviour. The sacrament of Penance provides forgiveness for those who are truly contrite and sustains them in their commitment to be better people, to live whole-heartedly and to work for the flourishing of all.

There is a kind of healthy shame that functions as a protector and guardian of the deepest and most sacred vulnerable part of oneself: our bodily and sexual life: and protects us from abuse whether self abuse or abuse by others (Percy, 2005). Relationships and particularly those that have a sexual dimension can be accompanied by a sense of shame. This may be a sign that something is not quite right about this particular relationship. True intimacy, true love, should not result in feelings of shame or guilt. Learning to discern these feelings and their meaning is an important part of the journey to emotional maturity. Moreover, feelings and their meaning can be important when we talk about safety and relationships. Such feelings can function as a kind of early warning system. Teaching young people how to recognize these can be important in empowering them to protect themselves and seek help in situations that may involve inappropriate sexual language, touching and the like.