Living life wholeheartedly entails engaging in life with openness, sincerity and authenticity. It is about cultivating courage and compassion and sharing life with others (Brown, 2012). The pathway to wholeness and freedom rests largely on what we decide to do with our disappointments, frustrations, failures, betrayals, injustices and hurts. Acknowledging and sharing weaknesses and difficulties can often be more nourishing to self and others than sharing qualities and successes (Chittister, 2003). 'Only when all of our weaknesses are accepted as part of our humanity can our negative, broken self-images be transformed.' (Vanier, 1998 p.26). The struggle to keep these opposing tendencies of human nature in proper balance teaches us wisdom and leads us to an increased capacity for compassion, forgiveness and love (Rohr, 2011). The Christian narrative teaches us that in each struggle there is a divine gift—conversion, independence, faith, courage, surrender, limitations, endurance, and transformation (Chittister OSB, 2003). Living wholeheartedly also involves the struggle to recognize and overcome distorted perceptions of, and inclinations away from, what is true, good and authentically human. In this struggle Christians seek help from God. As we grow in our capacity to make God present in the world, we grow in the Christian virtues of faith, hope and love.
Human beings are created free. How we choose to think about and treat one another reflects how we think and feel about ourselves, about the meaning and purpose of life and about God (Bell, 2007). The Christian vision of the human person promotes and protects the dignity of the human person; interpersonal relationships characterized by integrity and justice; and physical, emotional, relational and spiritual health and safety. It does so because these protections are necessary if we are to realise the fullness of our freedom. The sexual ethics that arises from the Catholic perspective helps us to discern what is good and bad, and what is morally right and wrong, in the wider culture, so that we freely choose to direct our moral responsibility to human flourishing.
With freedom comes responsibility. We are responsible for our moral behaviour because we are made in God's image as rational beings, capable of knowing what the morally right and good thing to do is and as free beings, capable of choosing to do the morally right and good thing. These two capacities, to know and to choose, together form what is called conscience. Loosely translated, conscience means 'with knowledge'. In other words, when we make moral choices, we make them based on what we know about the goals we want to achieve, the ways or means to achieve them, the circumstances in which we need to achieve them and the consequences of both the means we choose and the outcomes we achieve. When we have weighed all these things, we make a judgment based on our knowledge of what the morally right thing to do is. We are then obliged to follow our conscience and do the morally right thing, taking responsibility for our decision.
Freedom is something magnificent, yet it can also be dissipated and lost. Moral education has to do with cultivating freedom through ideas, incentives, practical applications, stimuli, rewards, examples, models, symbols, reflections, encouragement, dialogue and a constant rethinking of our way of doing things; all these can help develop those stable interior principles that lead us spontaneously to do good. Virtue is a conviction that has become a steadfast inner principle of operation. The virtuous life thus builds, strengthens and shapes freedom, lest we become slaves of dehumanizing and antisocial inclinations. For human dignity itself demands that each of us 'act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within'293 (Pope Francis, 2016 Amoris Laetitia ). In talking about moral decision making it is important to clarify what is meant by freedom. The Second Vatican Council reminds us that 'freedom is an exceptional sign of the image of God in humanity' (Gaudium et Spes, 17). Our freedom to make choices about moral issues is part of what makes us like God. Moreover, God wants us to make these choices, embrace our moral responsibility and grow and mature in moral wisdom. By acting in this way we are able to live whole-heartedly. In the light of the above it is helpful to note with O'Neil and Black (2003, p.58), that freedom can be understood in two senses: 'freedom from' and 'freedom for'. When we talk about freedom in the sense of 'freedom from', we are referring to freedom from limitations that prevent us from doing what we want. It is the limitless freedom that is often associated with individualistic cultures and the belief that individuals have a right to whatever they want. More positively, however, this 'freedom from' can be understood as freedom from those limitations that prevent us from fulfilling our vocation to live whole-heartedly. For example, if you lived in a society in which you were persecuted for your race or your sex or your religious beliefs, this would limit your freedom. But there is also a richer aspect of freedom in what is termed 'freedom for'. This is not simply about being free to choose to do whatever we like. Rather, it is about being able to make choices that might seem like limits on our freedom in order to direct our lives to what is truly good, towards a destiny centred on God. Think about how a person might choose not to eat ice-cream (and ice-cream is good because it tastes good and makes you feel happy in the short-term) because that person is trying to lose a few kilos so that she can be fitter and healthier. Or the person who pushes through the exhaustion of a physical exercise routine (the rest would be a good thing in the short term because it would provide immediate satisfaction) so that she will be able to perform better at her sport and be able to represent her country.
Now, when we talk about what is truly good and what 'freedom for' means in the Catholic sense, we are referring to the freedom to choose to direct one's actions towards the fostering of one's relationship with God and towards the flourishing of the community as a whole. This outwardly focused, altruistic understanding of freedom does not preclude one's own flourishing. Rather, it affirms that as beings made in the image of God, and hence as social and relational creatures, human beings flourish with others. Our flourishing is intimately tied up with the flourishing of others. When we use our freedom in this way, we respect not only the dignity of all human beings, but come closer to realizing the kind of just, peaceful and joyful community that God wants for humanity. What is truly good, in Catholic terms, is that which God wills. How do we know what God wills? Through revelation and through the use of our human reason to understand the order of the universe the way God has made it so that we can cooperate with God in making judgements and choices. Using these two sources of revelation and reason, we have already seen how we can affirm the good of every human being, their human dignity. We have seen how we can affirm the good of the body and the positive value of human sexuality expressed through procreation and conjugal love. We have seen how we can affirm the good of love, of intimacy, of being free of shame and of living whole-heartedly in a community of love, peace and justice with others. Thus, when it comes to moral reasoning about human sexuality and relationships, being able to answer basic questions about what is truly good means that our consciences are already well-informed about the starting point of our moral reflection. We come to understand such questions have answers both on the authority of God and the evidence of our own critical thought, reflection and feelings. What is said above constitutes the focus for what we should ultimately wish to achieve in all our moral decisions and use our freedom to work towards through our moral-decision making. What is discussed here provides a framework for helping us to think through what the right thing to do is in any given moral situation, especially in the context of human sexuality and relationships.
The Church believes there are objectively right and wrong answers to moral dilemmas. The process of moving from absolute values to general norms to specific case judgments requires the virtue of prudence, the ability to exercise sound judgment in practical matters, in order to arrive at moral certainty in one's judgments' (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1991).
In the Catholic tradition, some rules apply in every situation. Reflection on these in light of the steps of moral decision making highlighted above should make it clear why these apply: 'One may never do evil so that good may result from it; The Golden Rule (from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount): 'Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them' Charity always proceeds by way of respect for one's neighbour and his conscience: 'Thus sinning against your brethren and wounding their conscience…you sin against Christ.' Therefore 'it is right not to…do anything that makes your brother stumble'' (Catholic Bishops of Ontario, 2011 p. 325).
The basic conditions include the provision of basic goods necessary for human flourishing. These goods are both concrete and abstract. We have seen that as beings made in the image of God, we are created with a capacity for free choice. Indeed our lives are only morally meaningful to the extent that we engage this freedom of choice. Consequently, one of the basic goods that must be provided as part of the common good is our ability to use our freedom. We also have a reciprocal duty to make sure that the use of our freedom does not diminish the capacity of others to use their freedom. This idea of certain basic goods necessary for all human beings to flourish is given expression in the idea of human rights. The Catholic perspective, in its social teaching, lists several rights necessary for the common good. Consider the following extensive quote taken from Pope Saint John XXIII's 1963 Encyclical 'On Establishing Universal Peace in Truth, Justice, Charity and Liberty'—Pacem in Terris: Man has the right to live. He has the right to bodily integrity and to the means necessary for the proper development of life, particularly food, clothing, shelter, medical care, rest, and, finally, the necessary social services. In consequence, he has the right to be looked after in the event of ill health; disability stemming from his work; widowhood; old age; enforced unemployment; or whenever through no fault of his own he is deprived of the means of livelihood. Moreover, man has a natural right to be respected. He has a right to his good name. He has a right to freedom in investigating the truth, and—within the limits of the moral order and the common good—to freedom of speech and publication, and to freedom to pursue whatever profession he may choose. He has the right, also, to be accurately informed about public events. He has the natural right to share in the benefits of culture, and hence to receive a good general education, and a technical or professional training consistent with the degree of educational development in his own country. Furthermore, a system must be devised for affording gifted members of society the opportunity of engaging in more advanced studies, with a view to their occupying, as far as possible, positions of responsibility in society in keeping with their natural talent and acquired skill. Also among man's rights is that of being able to worship God in accordance with the right dictates of his own conscience, and to profess his religion both in private and in public. According to the clear teaching of Lactantius, 'this is the very condition of our birth, that we render to the God who made us that just homage which is His due; that we acknowledge Him alone as God, and follow Him. It is from this ligature of piety, which binds us and joins us to God, that religion derives its name. 'Hence, too, Pope Leo XIII declared that 'true freedom, freedom worthy of the sons of God, is that freedom which most truly safeguards the dignity of the human person. It is stronger than any violence or injustice. Such is the freedom which has always been desired by the Church, and which she holds most dear. It is the sort of freedom which the Apostles resolutely claimed for themselves. The apologists defended it in their writings; thousands of martyrs consecrated it with their blood. 'Human beings have also the right to choose for themselves the kind of life which appeals to them: whether it is to found a family—in the founding of which both the man and the woman enjoy equal rights and duties—or to embrace the priesthood or the religious life. The family, founded upon marriage freely contracted, one and indissoluble, must be regarded as the natural, primary cell of human society. The interests of the family, therefore, must be taken very specially into consideration in social and economic affairs, as well as in the spheres of faith and morals. For all of these have to do with strengthening the family and assisting it in the fulfilment of its mission. Of course, the support and education of children is a right which belongs primarily to the parents. In the economic sphere, it is evident that a man has the inherent right not only to be given the opportunity to work, but also to be allowed the exercise of personal initiative in the work he does.The conditions in which a man works form a necessary corollary to these rights. They must not be such as to weaken his physical or moral fibre, or militate against the proper development of adolescents to manhood. Women must be accorded such conditions of work as are consistent with their needs and responsibilities as wives and mothers. A further consequence of man's personal dignity is his right to engage in economic activities suited to his degree of responsibility. The worker is likewise entitled to a wage that is determined in accordance with the precepts of justice. This needs stressing. The amount a worker receives must be sufficient, in proportion to available funds, to allow him and his family a standard of living consistent with human dignity. Pope Pius XII expressed it in these terms: 'Nature imposes work upon man as a duty, and man has the corresponding natural right to demand that the work he does shall provide him with the means of livelihood for himself and his children. Such is nature's categorical imperative for the preservation of man. 'As a further consequence of man's nature, he has the right to the private ownership of property, including that of productive goods. This, as We have said elsewhere, is a right which constitutes so efficacious a means of asserting one's personality and exercising responsibility in every field, and an element of solidity and security for family life, and of greater peace and prosperity in the State. Finally, it is opportune to point out that the right to own private property entails a social obligation as well. Men are by nature social, and consequently they have the right to meet together and to form associations with their fellows. They have the right to confer on such associations the type of organization which they consider best calculated to achieve their objectives. They have also the right to exercise their own initiative and act on their own responsibility within these associations for the attainment of the desired results. As We insisted in Our encyclical Mater et Magistra, the founding of a great many such intermediate groups or societies for the pursuit of aims which it is not within the competence of the individual to achieve efficiently, is a matter of great urgency. Such groups and societies must be considered absolutely essential for the safeguarding of man's personal freedom and dignity, while leaving intact a sense of responsibility. Again, every human being has the right to freedom of movement and of residence within the confines of his own State. When there are just reasons in favor of it, he must be permitted to emigrate to other countries and take up residence there. The fact that he is a citizen of a particular State does not deprive him of membership in the human family, nor of citizenship in that universal society, the common, world-wide fellowship of men. Finally, man's personal dignity involves his right to take an active part in public life, and to make his own contribution to the common welfare of his fellow citizens. As Pope Pius XII said, 'man as such, far from being an object or, as it were, an inert element in society, is rather its subject, its basis and its purpose; and so must he be esteemed.' As a human person he is entitled to the legal protection of his rights, and such protection must be effective, unbiased, and strictly just. To quote again Pope Pius XII: 'In consequence of that juridical order willed by God, man has his own inalienable right to juridical security. To him is assigned a certain, well-defined sphere of law, immune from arbitrary attack.'