The concept of identity expresses the innate human desire to form a coherent sense of self through making free choices about who we want to be and what we want to do in the context of relationships. 'This includes, but is not limited to, the realms of gender, ethnicity, culture, social role, age group, personality, religion, spirituality, religious community, marital status, vowed life status, and sexuality' (Kappler, 2014). These relationships are formative for our identity in that they exert positive and negative influences on who we think we are and the roles we think we play. Moreover, as our place in these relationships changes over time, new expectations and opportunities arise to make choices to either embrace or reject these new roles as part of our sense of self. Whether we like it or not, these choices become part of our personal identities. We all experience being a child. When we are children no matter how much we might want to think of ourselves as adults we remain children.  Becoming parents or deciding not to have children has a certain objective impact on our identities. Once a person has a child, regardless of their actual relationship with that child, being a parent becomes part of their identity. The ways in which we respond to the objective dimensions of our identity arising from our relationships to the world, to others, to institutions, and to time and history contributes to the formation of our own sense of self in the world and the formation of the way other people see us.

The paradox of identity is that it is both something that is always already true and unchanging and something that changes and develops over time. The Christian tradition affirms, on the one hand, that each individual is a unique creation of God possessing an inviolable inherent worth. God created you, loves you, and will always love you. On the other hand, it also takes seriously the reality that this unique individual is nonetheless situated in history. Each person grows through different stages of life, from childhood, through adolescence and adulthood, to old age. In all of these stages the essential core identity of the person remains constant. You are still essentially the same person that you were when you were born and the you that you will be when you die. But it also makes sense to talk about becoming a different person as we learn and grow through these stages of life. The child is different to the parent and the parent is different to the grandparent. Yet we can experience being all of these different people as we go through life. Still, we can only experience them by going through life. You can only experience being a grandparent by becoming a grandparent and can only make grandparent part of your identity if it is the case in real life. So, as we enter into different stages of our lives, we will often have to revisit and re-evaluate some aspects of our identity.

This developmental aspect of identity formation—the fact that though you remain the same person, you also change—is important for two reasons. First, one should not expect people at different stages of their lives to think and act in the same way. We talk about the wisdom of old age because the elderly have lived through the various stages of life and have the benefit of a lifetime of experience. Young people can only imagine what it is like to be old, but old people know what it is like to be young. Similarly, parents know what it is like to be a child, whilst children can only imagine what it is like to be a parent. It takes time to develop and mature, to learn what things are really worthwhile doing and which are not. It takes time to learn from one's mistakes as wells as from one's successes. Second, identity formation is an ongoing process that needs to be constantly revisited. Identity formation requires attention and flexibility. An unexplored, unexamined, unattended identity carries its own risks. A person runs the danger of drifting through life imagining that they are someone they are not. Individuals need to understand their changing identity in order to develop that identity or sense of self, in a way that truly affirms the meaning and worth of their life and desire for dignity. Humans need to  embrace those aspects of their identity that are positive and life-affirming while recognising and carefully managing aspects that might damage personal hopes and the hopes of others.

Human beings are spiritual beings because God is pure spirit. Human beings, made in the image of God, have an immortal soul, a spiritual dimension that will live on after the death of their physical bodies. Christians also believe, however, that the soul will be reunited with a glorified body. When we think about the meaning and purpose of life and about what is good and right we are asking questions that have spiritual implications. These are questions that address the core of our being, a being created for eternity. By creating us as free beings God has given us the power to choose the kind of beings we are made to be, the causes we wish to stand for and the values we want to hold dear. The choices we make will have implications forever since our spiritual selves will live forever. At a very basic level we are asked whether we want to stand up for Love and live forever in Heaven, in eternal happiness with God or whether we want to reject Love, to reject goodness, to reject community, to reject all that is good and true and beautiful. The consequences of this latter choice is eternal life without God in what the Catholic tradition calls Hell. The Catholic perspective affirms the spiritual dimension of the human person pointing to the importance of how our decisions and actions shape the kind of person we become. Common experience indicates the truth of the connection between decisions, actions and personhood whether one actually believes in the existence of Heaven and Hell or otherwise. Living wholeheartedly means taking the question of what kind of person you want to become seriously and seeking the resources to become such a person through the practice of a healthy spirituality, nourishing that timeless dimension at the core of your being.

Sexuality and spirituality are connected. Healthy sexuality is the experience of feeling whole and worthy as a sexual person. Healthy sexuality involves: being connected in all parts of one's sexuality to one's spiritual core; congruence of sexual behaviour with one's value system; meaningfulness in relationships; the position of love in one's life; the miracle of existence; and the development and affirmation of sexual grace (Maleny, 1995). Rolheiser (1999, p.198-202) offers four principles that anchor a healthy Christian spirituality of sexuality: 1. Sexuality is God's energy inside of us and leads persons to sanctity when its principles are respected. 2. Sexuality for the Christian needs the protection of reverence (chastity) and wisdom (prudence) 3. Sexual intimacy is sacred. It can never be simply a casual, unimportant, neutral thing. Its place is within a committed, loving, covenantal relationship as a privileged vehicle of grace. It brings God's physical touch to us and is a source of integration for the soul. 4. Sexual intimacy for the Christian must be linked to marriage, monogamy, and a covenantal commitment that is, by definition, all-embracing and permanent. Sex speaks of total giving, total trust and total commitment.