When we look at the Catholic perspective on particular moral issues related to sexual activity, it is easy and tempting to reduce the perspective to a list of rules: do not masturbate; do not have sex outside of marriage; do not use contraception of any form; use only natural family planning methods to regulate the birth of offspring. But such reductionism, whilst seemingly expedient, is really quite useless. Let's face it, for many people, 'rules are made to be broken'. But reducing moral issues related to sexuality to a list of rules is useless for another, far more important reason. It reduces morality to certain actions or the avoidance of certain actions and removes such actions from the deeper context of meaning for which these morals norms (rules) have been developed. It removes moral actions from the wealth of experience of generations of human beings and societies and from the reflection on human experience by some of the greatest minds to have lived. Also, it removes ways of acting from the context of their deeper spiritual and religious significance. As with the rules of the road that exist to keep us safe on the road and to ensure that we don't accidentally kill one another, the moral norms concerning sexual practice serve both to protect us and our societies from the undesirable consequences of irresponsible behaviour, and to help us to achieve the fullness of the good things for which we were created, that is to live wholeheartedly in a community of love and justice. In other words, there is little point in simply telling someone not to do something. We need to explain the reasoning behind the prohibition. We also must offer goals for what one should be doing. Put simply, masturbation, sex outside of marriage, and contraception are proscribed in the Catholic perspective because there are much better ways to live out our sexuality, ways that are better for us and for others. The prohibitions exist not because sex and sexuality are bad but rather precisely because sex and sexuality are good. The Catholic perspective wants human beings to experience the goodness of sex and sexuality in the best way. So, knowing what these better ways are and why we should aspire to them is essential to the formation of conscience. With this knowledge, we are better informed to make free choices about how we behave and the moral meanings of our behaviour. The theoretical background to these 'better ways' has been laid out in detail in previous sections, particularly the idea that human beings are made in the image of God, have inherent dignity and are sexual and relational beings called to form communities of love reflecting God's Trinitarian love in the world. Please refer to these previous sections for more information on the background to what follows.

The rhetorical questions below will help to reveal what is better. Focus for the moment on the actions themselves rather than the circumstances. What would you rather do: i. masturbate by yourself or make love to another person? ii. make love to another person using a condom or without one? iii. ingest chemicals to prevent unwanted pregnancies or do so without the need for such chemicals? iv. have to face the choice of having an abortion, or not have to face that choice at all? v. have to tell someone that you have a sexually transmitted disease, or not have such a disease at all? vi. be in a relationship characterized by fear and doubt, or one characterized by trust and mutual respect? If we are honest with ourselves, the second option in each of the above questions is the more desirable one. The Catholic perspective thinks so too, and suggests that the way to realise the relationship of mutual trust and respect in question (vi) is by avoiding masturbation and by making love without contraceptives in the context of permanent marital bond. The regulation of childbirth can be achieved by natural family planning.

Masturbation is defined as the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure (Laqueur, 2003; Coleman, SS, 1992). Science widely recognises that in childhood and adolescence physical curiosity, self-exploration, and self-stimulation are a natural part of growing up (Hartman, 2014; Landry et al in Fortenberry, 2014). Sometimes this exploration can reveal the goodness of sexual pleasure and lead to a search for its meaning and proper place in human relationships. The Catholic perspective is that sex and sexual pleasure are good, and are intended to be relational, an expression of love between two persons. Sexual affective maturity is achieved when love is directed towards another rather than self. From this viewpoint, masturbation is wrong because it reduces sex to solitary pleasure-seeking, to sex with oneself. Also, by its very nature sexual intercourse is meant to be not only love-giving but also life-giving. Masturbation thwarts that second purpose as well. The Catechism of the Catholic Church advises that the evaluation of moral responsibility for the act of masturbation one must 'take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability' (CCC 2352). This should also guide pastoral action. From an educational and pastoral viewpoint, . . . it is valuable to consider that masturbation may be a symptom of underlying psychological and interpersonal difficulties that provoke a certain amount of tension that the person seeks to release through these actions. Pedagogical efforts and pastoral care should be focused on the development of the whole person, seeing these actions in context, seeking their underlying causes more than seeking to repress the actions in isolation. [It is advised that teachers] 'should undramatise masturbation and not reduce his or her esteem and benevolence' for the person (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1991 pp. 62,63; cf. Sacred Congregation for Catholic Education, 1983 paras. 99-100)